Teenage Romance: Tips for Teens and Parents

s parents we often aren’t sure what our role should be when a child is old enough to start dating. Should we be laying down the rules? Minding our own business? Teenagers can be prickly about their privacy, especially when it comes to something as intimate as romance. The potential for embarrassment all around can prevent us from giving them any advice for having healthy and happy relationships. Teenagers do look to us for guidance, though—even when they’d rather die than acknowledge that they are—and we can often have more influence than we realize. With this in mind, here are some relationship Dos and Don’ts you can share with your kids. You can start bringing these things up long before they start dating, and continue affirming them as kids get more experience. And do your best to lead by example and model these values in your own relationships, too. Do look for someone you feel comfortable with Being comfortable with someone means: You can be yourself around her. You can have different opinions on something, and know that it’s okay. You trust each other when you’re not together. You aren’t pressured to do things you don’t want to do. (This definitely includes sexual things, but also other things, like going somewhere you don’t want to go, or wearing something you don’t want to wear.) Don’t forget your friends Some people will drop all their friends after they start dating someone. They might not mean for it to happen, but it still does. Don’t be that person! No one wants a friend who will throw her over for someone else, and you still need a social life outside your boyfriend or girlfriend. Do be your own person It’s natural to share interests with the person you’re dating, but you also need to keep developing an identity outside of that person, too. Keep thinking about what you like and what you need. Have an interest that’s just yours. It will improve your self-esteem, and being confident in yourself makes you more likely to be confide